According to H. G. Bosch, the newspaper cartoonist H. T. Webster once amused himself by sending telegrams to 20 of his acquaintances whom he selected at random. Each message contained just one word: “Congratulations.” As far as Webster knew, not one of his friends had done anything special for which to be complimented. Yet, each person was so flattered that he immediately wrote Webster a letter of thanks. All 20 of his friends assumed they had done something worthy of a congratulatory telegram!

Surprising? I think not. Whereas pride can be defined as an excessively high opinion of oneself; arrogance is the state or quality of being overly convinced of one’s own importance. From a Christian perspective, arrogance is man’s inflated belief in his own abilities that interferes with his recognition of the grace of God. In other words, we cannot see God, or experience God for we are too focused on ourselves.

In a sense, arrogance is like a weed that grows amid the beautiful roses and yet, it believes itself to be far more pleasing to the eye. The arrogant person enjoys being paramount and awards himself a high degree of importance. But arrogance is deadly and an enemy to the soul. It is an outward expression of an inward flaw. A bloated ego is the most serious obstacle to submission to God. It is the enemy within that prevents us from accepting God’s omnipotence and absolute authority. Consequently, it is our own arrogance that stands between us and redemption into God’s kingdom.

I am reminded of Jesus’ prayer for Peter. Remember, at a certain point during the Last Supper, Jesus focused His entire attention on Simon? He tells him, “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.” Luke 22:31-32a. (NIV).

This is significant because Simon had become arrogant. He had gotten beside himself; self assured and over confident. He had become boastful and big headed. He exuded an air of superiority and certainty about himself. He thought he knew who he was and what he was about. He had become conceited and no one could tell him anything.

Simon had soared to great heights. He was the chief spokesman for the twelve, water walker, rock man, one of Jesus’ inner circle, and prominent figure at the transfiguration. To himself, he was somebody. Simon was so inculcated with a sense of his own special importance that he even went so far as to assume he knew more about Jesus’ mission than Jesus Himself.

This is why prayer is so important to the Christian life. We need prayer to overcome Satan. Satan got a hold of Simon and carried him on a hurricane ride through hell. He poisoned Simon’s spirit and confused his mind and made him betray the most important person ever to come into his life.

Arrogance is one of many tools used by Satan. If we are not careful, he will use this tool to wreck our system of values, paralyze our spirit and ruin our capacity to reason. He can dull our conscience and transform our home from a place of peace and love to a wasteland of disturbance and discord. And, sometimes, for our own good God has to let Satan shake us and sift us for a time.

So whoever you are, regardless of how high you think you may be escalating spiritually, watch out, be cautious, don’t indulge the enemy, and pray for humility. While you are climbing Jacob’s ladder to spiritual heights, watch your footing. Because I have learned that even the roads to spiritual heights are paved with ice.

SIDEBAR NOTE: Winston Churchill once had a very arrogant cabinet member. When this person left the room one day, Churchill turned to the rest of his cabinet and said, “There, but for the grace of God goes God!”

Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, veteran social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach which can be reviewed on her site. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: My Grief Management Workbook, is expected to be available soon.

You are welcome to visit AMEN Ministries: Your Soul’s Service Station for spiritual refreshing, soul edification, browse our newly expanded Stop & Shop Mini Mall or review our recommended books you may want to add to your personal library.

Blessings to all!

1 - Take A Tour of the Great Outdoors

Consider a hike in the mountains, a stroll beside the river, a run along the beach, a jog through the park or a walk around the city.

2 - Soak Up Your Surroundings like a New Sponge

3 - Read, Read, Read

In our society, our daily lives can be very taxing.

We know that David did much to stabilize the Kingdom of Israel. He fought a long series of wars to make Israel secure. He surrounded Israel with client kingdoms that at the very least were peaceful in their foreign relations towards him and Israel’s God. But the one thing that David wanted to do more than anything else was to establish a permanent Temple on Mount Zion for the present and future use of the Lord God Almighty. He desired building a house for God where He alone might be honored and worshipped. David did not want to go to his final rest until the house of God was built. But, this hope was to be fulfilled by another, his son Solomon.

And so it is with us. After we have taken care of our private business; after we have gone about our worldly affairs with our envies and jealousies, our complaints and dissatisfactions, we find no time left to build a house for God. But the real tragedy of existence is not in its shortness, but rather, it is in its incompleteness. The Old Testament as well as the New Testament seems to be overloaded with great individuals with incomplete lives. Their hopes were not realized, their plans not perfected, their vision not actualized.

Abraham left the land of Ur to receive an inheritance of a country but he died not owning a single yard of land in Canaan except a grave. Jacob cherished the same hope but he died a stranger in a strange land.

Moses inherited the same glorious purpose. His vision, coupled with the inspiration from the burning bush, led him to establish Israel in their promised land in Canaan. This was the task for when he gave his life. Moses trained himself for a work for 40 years. He succeeded in converting a ravel of slaves into a nation of prestige and dignity. He succeeded in taking the Israelites across the Red Sea and away from the slavery of Egypt and away from Pharaoh’s army. He succeeded in seeing them through difficult times. He took them to the edge of the Promised Land. But by a mandate from God, he never saw them settled there. Moses could not enter into the Promised Land. He died and was buried in an unknown grave somewhere in the land of Moab. He missed his aim. He never accomplished his purpose, he never finished his business.

So it was with John the Baptist, the martyr Stephen, the apostle Paul, John Kennedy, John Kennedy Jr. They have all joined with countless others, the gallant march with God’s greats who went to their glory with their work undone, their business unfinished, their dreams unfulfilled, and their lives incomplete.

This suggests to me that we do not have time for a lot of petty, useless, senseless engagements. We need to stop wasting so much time in pettiness, trivialities and foolishness because in the midst of our wasted time in the insignificant, Mother Nature goes on about her business. Our clay houses fall to pieces but the sun goes right on shining. A man’s body disintegrates but the moon continues to glow, the birds keep on singing and Father Time keeps on ticking.

TICK - TOCK

Tick tock,
Time winding down
Giving way to,
Eternity.

Tick tock,
Time submitting
To the command of,
Infinity.

Tick tock,
Time, sweet time
Acquiescing to,
Perpetuity.

Tick tock,
Our appointed
Destiny
Draws nigh.

Tick tock,
Time running out.
Prepare!
Evermore cometh.

Tick tock
Tick tock

Tick tock

In the scrolls of history, there is only one Man who was able to accomplish everything He set out to do. He was King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He came forth into this world with a dying garment on. He was the root of Jesse and the seed of Abraham.

- It was Jesus and Jesus alone, in a death robe at Calvary’s cross, who could look at a dying sin-sick world and declare, “It is finished.”

- It was Jesus and Jesus alone, who could look at the men under the cross, fighting and gambling for His clothes and cry out, “It is finished.”

- It was Jesus and Jesus alone, who could look His enemies in the face. Those who had ridiculed Him and criticized Him and tried to find something wrong with Him. Those who planned and plotted and schemed and connived against Him every chance they got; He looked at them and said, “It is finished.”

- It was Jesus and Jesus alone, whose life was played out to the end.

- It was Jesus and Jesus alone, who could say without fear of contradiction, “It is finished.”

The business for which He came to this earth was now finished. The battle had been won and from that point on, the wicked ceased from troubling and the weary One was now at rest.

But for the rest of us, it is never finished. Death creeps in on us before we get to do all the things we want to do. Watch what you do with your time.

Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, veteran social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach which can be reviewed on her site. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: My Grief Management Workbook, is expected to be available soon.

You are welcome to visit AMEN Ministries: Your Soul’s Service Station for spiritual refreshing, soul edification, browse our newly expanded mini shopping mall or review our recommended books you may want to add to your personal library.

Blessings to all!

If you have a daunting task and the mere thought of it overwhelms you, it’s probably too big to implement directly and should be broken down into actionable parts. I find this happens to me frequently — I see the big strategic goal that I want to achieve, but become paralyzed thinking about the size of the project. To accomplish my overall goal, I need to crack this task into small doable pieces. In that way, I keep it simple and focused on one thing at a time.

Five Questions to Ask Yourself to Break a Big Daunting Task into Actionable Pieces

Ask yourself the following questions and write down all the answers you come up with. It works best if you can find a quiet, peaceful, comfortable place to do this where you won’t be interrupted.

1. What is the specific overall goal or task you want to achieve?

Be as clear as possible and include as many dates and or numbers as you can. If you are in business, you may have an overall task to “Create $50,000.00 of revenue from new online products within three months.” You could also identify more details including information about the target market, the type of products, etc. You can also apply this to personal tasks. For example, you may have an overall objective to “Eliminate clutter in three rooms in my home within two months with processes to maintain it.”

2. What information do you need first to complete your goal or task?

I often find I can’t take action until I get further information, especially at the beginning of a big task. For example, if your task is to eliminate clutter and you don’t really know where to start, you might need information on how to eliminate clutter and what tips the experts recommend. To gather this information you may choose to complete an Internet search or visit the local library and searching under organization or decluttering. Or you could choose to hire a professional organizer to provide some personal assistance.

3. What necessary steps do you foresee?

Again, be as specific as possible. This may seem unnecessary, but if you can write down the required steps to complete your project, it can start to feel less daunting. I often find that I end up with around five steps to complete — each of them may take me some time to accomplish, but with only five or less steps, it’s much easier to get my head around the overall task.

4. Who else should be involved, and what do you require or want them to do?

Make sure you consider both required and desired assistance. There will be times when you need support, but don’t forget to also ask for help when it will make the task easier for you and or lighten your load. I find that this step very helpful because we often forget about all the contacts that we really do have — and the contacts that these people have that they could match us up with if necessary.

5. What should be your very first step, and when do you have to take it?

The first step is always the key to getting started. Often I find this is something I have already identified as part of my response to questions two or four above.

Copyright 2004 Donna P. Lendzyk

Donna P. Lendzyk is a professional coach and creator of the Overcome Overwhelm System. She coaches businesswomen to “Overcome Overwhelm and Achieve Their Desired Results.” She is the author of the multi-media “Overcome Overwhelm eProgram.” To learn more about her eProgram and sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her website at http://www.overcomeoverwhelm.com

I have to admit that I am a confirmed puzzle-head. I love crosswords, acrostics, and cryptograms. But I am becoming ever more intrigued by logic problems. For one thing they teach you how to become a more attentive listener or reader to catch the nuances of language that can provide invaluable clues to their solution. For another, they teach the step-to-step process of processing information. These are skills that are valuable for nearly all reasoning situations.

To illustrate the process, the following is a problem I have composed that will take you step by step from recognizing the essential elements to the final solution. I have not provided a matrix but if you are familiar with the technique you can construct one yourself from the description.

I call the problem The Wilson Elementary Subject Olympics. Ed, Bob, Susan, Anne and Wayne (in no particular order) are five bright 6th-Grade students attending Wilson School. They recently competed in the school’s annual competition. The subjects were: reading, writing, arithmetic, art & poetry, and gym. For scoring purposes, the winner in each subject was awarded four points; the second place three; third, two; fourth, one; and fifth, zero. At the end of the competition the principal said that it was the closest competition ever. Each competitor was within one point of the next highest finisher. Every competitor got at least one four. From the following clues, determine the score and order of finish for each of the students. [N.B. You may want to construct two different tables, one with the names of the students and the subject, the other simply the subject and total number of points scored in each subject.

(1) Only one student got 5 different scores. Bob scored four more points than the last-place finisher. The student in second place had no zeroes.

(2) Wayne, who did not finish fourth or fifth, got a four in gym and got a higher score than (Bob) in arithmetic.

(3) Susan finished in third place in two subjects but she finished first in arithmetic.

(4) Bob’s best subject was writing and his worst was gym, where he got a zero.

(5) Anne got identical scores in writing and gym and a four in reading. She did not finish last.

(6) Ed, Bob, Susan and Anne finished 1 through 4 in that order in art and poetry.

(7) Ed finished fourth in arithmetic, but second in gym. He also got identical scores in reading and writing.

(8) The third place finisher got a one in writing; the fourth place finisher a zero in arithmetic.

From the above we have more than enough information to solve the problem. For one thing, we know our students finished within a point ahead or a point behind their competitors. If we add up the total number of possible points for each category we get 4 plus 3 plus 2 plus 1 or a total of ten. Since we have five categories with ten points in each we have a total of 50 points. Since each student finished within a point of each other, the scores will be consecutive integers such as 11,12,13,14,15 for example. If you want to, you can sit down and experiment to see which five integers add up to fifty, but there is a simple algebraic formula that will give the number. The smallest number will be x. The next number will be x+1, then x+2, X+3 and x+4. Written out x + (x+1) + (x+2) + (x+3) + (x+4) = 50. 5x+10 = 50. 5x = 40 so x equals 8. The five integers are 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Now let’s turn to the clues.

Clue number one tells us that Bob had 4 more points than the last place finisher. The last place competitor scored 8 points. Bob must have scored a total of twelve, which means he finished in first place.

From Clue number two we know that Wayne did not finish 4th or 5th. Since Bob finished first we know Wayne must hsve finished 2nd or third and will have a total of 11 or 10 points.

Clue number six gives us four actual scores. Ed got a 4 in art and poetry, Susan 3, Bob 2, and Anne 1. By inference, Wayne got the zero. Since clue one tells us that the second place finisher had no zeroes, Wayne must have finished in third place with a total of ten points. We also know that he is the student who received five different scores because 4+3+2+1+0 equals 10 and clue one tells us that only student had five different scores.

Clue four tells us that Bob’s best subject was writing. This means he got one four only and it was in writing. He scored 0 points in gym. Since he scored a total of 12 points, he must have gotten a total of 8 points in Reading, Arithmetic and Art& Poetry. The clue also tells us that he got the same score in two subjects. He only got one 4, so he must have gotten 2s or 3s in the remaining subjects. The only numbers that add up to eight are 3, 3 and 2. From clue 2 we know that Wayne got a 3 in arithmetic and this was a higher score than Bob. We now know Bob’s standing and all of his scores, viz, Reading 3, Writing 4, Arithmetic 2, Art and Poetry 3, Gym 0.

Clue five tells us that Anne got the four in reading and that she didn’t finish last. Bob finished first, Wayne 3rd and Anne 2nd, or 4th. By the process of elimination, either Susan or Ed must have finished in last place. Please remember that the last place finisher scored a total of 8 points. Susan has been identified as having seven points so far and has at least another for her second third place finish.

Clue eight says that the third place finisher, (Wayne), got a 1 in writing We now know 8 of Wayne’s total of 10 points in four subjects. This means he must have gotten a score of 2 in Reading, the only remaining blank. The rest of the clue tells us that the fourth place finisher got a zero in arithmetic. Susan got a 4 which means that Ed or Ann finished in Fourth place.

Clue nine indicates that Ed got the same score in reading and writing. The only scores he could have got were ones or zeros. We know that Anne finished in fourth place, so Ed finished fifth with a total of 8 points. We already can account for 7 of them so he scored a total of 1 point in three subjects. Since he got the same score in reading and writing, these must be zeroes and his one point would be in arithmetic. By the process of elimination, we now know that Susan finished in second place with a total of 11 points. Furthermore Ed, Bob, Anne and Wayne account for 9 of the 10 points in reading, meaning Susan scored 1.

In the arithmetic column we have now accounted for all ten points without Anne’s score. Thus, her score must be zero. We’re almost finished.

Clue 5 reads that Anne got identical scores in writing and in gym. At this point she has a total of 5 points. The identical scores must be 2s. That leaves he last two numbers to fill in for Susan. She got a 3 in writing and a 1 in Gym.

At long last we have the standings and the scores. Bob, first, reading 3, writing 4, arithmetic 2, Art and Poetry 3 and Gym 0.

Susan, second, reading 1, writing 3, arithmetic 4, Art and Poetry 2 and Gym 1. Wayne is third with 2 in reading, 1 in writing, 3 in arithmetic, zero in art and poetry and 4 in gym. Anne, who came in fourth, has the following: 4 in reading, 2 in writing, zero in arithmetic one in Art and Poetry and 2 in gym. Last but not least Ed got a zero in Reading and writing, 1 in arithmetic. 4 in Art and Poetry and 3 in gym.

From a step by step approach, we began by finding the total number of points available from the clue about the numbers of points scored. After that we determined Bob finished first with 12 points. Each clue from that point on provided more information either by statement or inference. What seems at first to be an unintelligible mess gives way to logical analysis. If you enjoyed it, get yourself a logic book and have a ball!

The author, John Anderson, loves puzzles. He has used a number of different ones in his novel, The Cellini Masterpiece, written under the pen name of Raymond John. If you’d like to read a sample chapter or have a question or want to contact John, go to http://www.cmasterpiece.com

The key to achieving more than you currently are, no matter which area of your life or work you are focusing in on now, is change. The old saying rings true: If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you’ve already got. If you keep eating and exercising the way you currently are, you will weigh the same a year from now. If you continue to sell to the same people on the same schedule, you will make the same amount of money next year.

In order to move forward, we must change.

As I have worked with people, both in a professional setting and on a personal basis, I have found two things to be true about change. One, it is simple. Two, it is not easy. That is, the concept of change is simple to grasp. People or organizations are quick to say, “Oh, I know we need to change.” Simple.

But where the problem starts, and why most people and organizations do not change, is because it is not easy to change. But, I believe, if the process is well thought out, and if we have the guts and determination to carry it out, change can happen, and we can move on to more fulfilled lives.

With that said, let me give you what I consider the elements of change.

Discontentment with your current state. The first step in the process of change is to not want to be where you currently are. You must be discontent with it. If you are overweight, you must say, “I will not accept this anymore.” If you are in debt, you must say, “I cannot tolerate this any longer.” If you have broken relationships, you must say, “I will not live with this.” This is a decision to change and not accept the status-quo.

The picture of your preferred outcome. What is it that you want to change to? It absolutely is not enough to say “I need to change.” It must be: “I am going to change to…” This becomes the goal. I would encourage you to get a mental picture of it formulated in your mind. Get a real picture of it if it is that tangible. Perhaps write yourself a short essay, extolling the virtues of what life will be like when you get to the changed state.

New associations with the two states. You must begin to associate your current state you are in with pain, and the state you want to be in with pleasure. Let’s take weight for example. We tend to think of ice cream, mounds of it, with pleasure. I know that I do. Especially chocolate chip mint. Last night we went to some friend’s house and we had some ice cream. Normal portions. I don’t like to eat normal portions. I like huge portions of ice cream. There is an association of pleasure there. But what I did to overcome the urge to eat scoop after scoop was to associate huge portions to being overweight, not the pleasure of the taste. I also associated not eating the ice cream with feeling better about myself. Then when it comes to exercise, I work on associating the exercise and weight-lifting with the pleasure of fitting into my clothes rather than the pain my muscles feel every time I do it. This help me win the battle of the mind.

Develop a plan of short, simple steps. “I am going to lose fifty pounds in two months.” “I will sell 500% more next month.” These are examples of change that are good goals to have long term, but too big for the time allotted - and this is havoc on change!

If your goals are too big in too short of time, you will fail and become discouraged. Then you will quit and decide change can’t be accomplished. Instead, you must have short, workable, attainable goals if you are going to see real change happen and stay.

“I am going to lose five pounds a month for ten months.”

“We are going to sell 6% more each month this year (That would double your business each year)”

These are the size steps you need to take. Then you will build victory after victory.

Discipline yourself. Sorry but this is where it is up to you. At the heart of change is the ability to discipline ourselves. I cannot lose your weight. Your mom cannot go out and make sales calls for you. The only real obstacle standing between your current state and your desired outcome is you! So do everything you can to get yourself motivated to change! Force yourself to get out of bed and get to work on your goals! Discipline yourself. Choose to make the right decision.

Reward yourself when you have made the change. That’s right: reward yourself. You have worked hard and exerted a lot of self-discipline to get there! You deserve it!

About The Author:

Chris Widener is a popular speaker and writer as well as the President of
Made for Success, a company helping individuals and organizations turn
their potential into performance, succeed in every area of their lives and
achieve their dreams.

To see Chris “live” at the upcoming Jim Rohn Weekend Event as he speaks on
the subject of Secrets of Influence go to
http://Chris-Widener.InspiresYOU.com/ or call 800-929-0434.

Perhaps I should ask my doctor if there is a drug to take to combat frustration from seeing so many drug ads. You know the ones I’m talking about. They always start out with a list of questions. Then they tell you that a new drug might be just the thing for you–all you have to do is ask your doctor.

Here’s my tongue-in-cheek riff on those ubiquitous ads.

*************************

Have you ever felt you had too little time for your many interests?

Do you find it difficult to decide which section of the bookstore to browse?

Is it hard for you to answer the question, “What do you do?”?

You may be suffering from Multiple Interest Disorder.

There is help for those suffering from Multiple Interest Disorder. New ideas make it possible to live a meaningful life despite the inability to hold the same job for 25 years.

There are support groups for those suffering from Multiple Interest Disorder. You can find them at most community colleges, libraries, artist cooperatives, bookstores, and coffee shops near you. It’s important for you to know that, wherever you are, there are other individuals coping with their limitless approach to life.

In addition, you should know that many successful individuals have suffered just as you are now. Leonardo da Vinci found it impossible to choose between science and art. Albert Einstein was unable to find satisfaction as a student. Orville and Wilbur Wright were incapable of sticking to running their bicycle shop.

If you’re suffering from Multiple Interest Disorder, you may have several of the following symptoms:

• Multiple talents

• A well-used library card

• An affinity for public broadcasting

• An eclectic collection of recorded music

• An inability to stick with one career

• A tendency to prefer conversation over television

• A penchant for viewing independent films

• A habit of attending lectures or author events

• A collection of art supplies, sports gear, books, antiques, exotic plants, cooking utensils, or any combination of these

Don’t ask your doctor if a limited life is right for you. Your lack of mindlessness may have become apparent to yourself or others. It may be too late to avoid recognizing your potential and engaging in your own process of maximizing your intellect, talent, and compassion.

Millions of people around the world are suffering from Multiple Interest Disorder. They are incapable of sticking to predictable options. They are choosing to wallow in their opportunities for excellence and fulfillment.

If you think you may be suffering from Multiple Interest Disorder, ask yourself if a life of limitations is right for you. Pursuing a long-term course of multiple passions may result in fascinating conversations, stimulating relationships, and an extra long obituary. Those pursuing a path of many twists and turns may develop excessive curiosity and energy.

SIDE EFFECTS: Those engaging in a life of limitless opportunities may experience spontaneous woos–contagious and energizing expressions of irrepressible joy. To avoid mindlessness, refrain from mediocrity and repetitive thought patterns. In the event of unrestrained enthusiasm and discovery, deep and lasting satisfaction may be the only prognosis. Don’t ask your doctor for more information.

About The Author

Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse. Her work has inspired thinkers in over 90 countries. She serves up a satisfying blend of clarity, comfort and comic relief in her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage. To subscribe, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com.

maya@massageyourmind.com

Being the youngest in a family of eight didn’t leave much time…or funding for extravagant birthday parties that included balloons, hats or goody bags. We had the usual birthday cake from a box, candles and the “Happy Birthday Song,” and finances permitting - we received gifts from our parents.

I recall one birthday that my father wasn’t home. An Army Sergeant, he spent many weeks on end in “the fields” or drill for his particular duty station. Upon his return, he brought me a very large cardboard box. It wasn’t wrapped, a little warped, and most of the flaps were open. As a wide-eyed 6-year old, I was of course, intrigued by the contents. Pulling back one of the flaps, I peered down inside the container. The base of the box was lined with tiny, used plastic toy soldiers, a few matchbox cars, some lego blocks and a Batman car that traditionally shot “missiles.” However, since the missiles were missing, we accessorized the little, black vehicle with toothpicks - which worked quite well.

We didn’t have a lot of money for a lot of things, but the big, cardboard container with used toys seems to linger in my timebox of precious memories. As a matter of fact, the miscellaneous odds and ends were the perfect gifts for an inquisitive blond-curled tomboy.

As we all matured, my sisters and I proceeded having our own families. One of our primary goals was to give our children ALL the things we didn’t have or couldn’t afford. And as much material things I personally gave my children, I still wanted to incorporate a “special” memory timebox that they, too, may retain in years to come.

I made certain that both my children had ‘real’ birthday parties - hats, goody bags, the whole works. But what made their special day - ’special,’ was the flying of the balloons. So what’s so unique about letting balloons go into the air? From the time my children were able to write with crayons, I would purchase small 3×5 ruled, index cards, plastic ziplock baggies, ribbon and helium balloons on their birthdays. Depending on how old they were turning, was how many helium balloons I would buy. I began first by having them write a small note, “Dear Friend, my name is …, and I am hoping that my little balloon will find its way to you. If you find my note, please write me at…., God Bless You, ….” After writing their note, name and address, we would meticulously slip the 3×5 card into a ziplock baggie, seal it and attach a separate note to each balloon. At the ‘end’ of their birthday party, my kids would excitedly run outside to lift off their balloons. One at a time, we would watch red, blue, green, yellow, purple and orange balloons spiral into the vast, open sky.

Throughout the years, up until their 12th birthdays, we would fly the balloons to signify their special days. Additionally, we knew that although modern technology allows us to instantly communicate, that perhaps, just one of the balloons would make it into someone else’s hands. One year after my son’s 9th birthday, he received a letter from a teenage girl that lived in a neighboring state. The hand-written envelope was addressed to my son, and came from North Carolina. As he carefully opened the sealed envelope, I knew that this was a response from one of his balloons. Sure enough, the letter explained how the little balloon had made its way into a farm field over 400 miles away. The teenage girl wrote how her father, a farmer, had been ploughing his wheat fields when he stumbled upon a red balloon with a little note attached to it. Amazed at his finding, he brought it home to his 17-year old daughter who quickly responded to my son.

For years, my kids would anxiously await more responses. Although we didn’t get a response for every balloon we sent, somehow, I know that another individual will one day stumble upon one of their little notes from the past. And perhaps, one day, they will receive yet another response.

It is my belief that the simple things we do, give and say are the happiest and most treasured moments of our lives. My teenage kids often remark about the balloon flights and still hold those times dear to their hearts. In essence, they now have their own memory timebox, as I will always have mine.

© 2004 - All Rights Reserved target=”_new”
Memory Timebox by target=”_new”
C. Bailey-Lloyd/Lady Camelot

About the Author:

C. Bailey-Lloyd/LadyCamelot is the Public Relations Director & Writer for Holistic Junction — Your source of information for Holistic Practitioners; Reflexology Schools, Massage Therapy Schools, and Chiropractic Schools; Alternative Healthcare; Insightful Literature and so much more!


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As responsible employers, parents, and friends, we have an obligation to correct the mistakes of other people in order to enhance their personal success. The task before us is how to correct a deficiency without damaging the delicate ego that can sometimes get in the way. Too often people criticize someone’s behavior without providing a solution and this is detrimental because it then becomes a personal attack on the person that only aims to demerit them. Constructive criticism involves pointing out their weakness and offering a solution to correct it. In order to give constructive criticism, we must seek the solution to the problem before we point it out to the person. By doing this, we effectively separate the behavior from the ego and preserve the relationship in the process.

Here Are Some Strategies For Giving Constructive Criticism:

1. Never criticize while you are angry with the person. If your emotions are controlling your actions, then avoid any type of criticism. It becomes too easy to use that criticism as a chance to make a personal attack on the other person when emotions are high. Distance yourself and regain your own composure before you address a behavior that needs correcting.

2. Offer a better solution. Know the difference between disliking a certain behavior because it disagrees with your own personal preference versus disliking a behavior in favor of a more efficient way or correct way of doing something. Avoid making a criticism and then attempting to support it with emotional appeals because the issue then becomes a matter of personal preference and conflicting egos. Instead, use the power of logic to show the person that there really is a better way of doing the same thing that will enhance their own success and productivity.

3. Always let the person save face. This means respect the person, even if they did something completely inappropriate. The psychological consequences of embarrassing or disrespecting someone in front of their peers is very severe. It is so severe in fact, that such embarrassment has been a major factor in 80% of all violent incidents in the workplace and at schools. Criticism is a personal and private process that is not to be shared with anyone else. Also, it is just as important not to make it apparent to other people that you are giving, or going to give criticism. Asking someone to come into your office in front their peers can be just as damaging as criticizing them in public. Keep it very confidential and respect your counterpart’s needs to save face in front of their peers.

4. Focus on the problem, not the person. When giving constructive criticism, make sure that you stay focused on addressing the problem and not the person. The problem is an objective issue that you can work cooperatively on to enhance both of your interests. Focusing in on the person, however, will always be construed as a personal attack against themeven if it is not meant to be. Personal attacks are always followed up with resentment and anger, which can actually be more detrimental in the long run because it can cause deep-seated resentment, which in turn, can lead to poor moral, clandestine or saboteur behavior, and passive-resistance. Remember that the person has feelings and those feelings can be easily broken by a wrong approach. Whenever you give criticism, follow the golden rule of attacking the problem, while being gentle on the person.

5. Empathize with their position. Empathy is the ability to step into the shoes of the other person and see the world from their perspective. Sometimes we forget what it is like to be the new person on the job because we have grown accustom to a certain procedure or routine that is second nature to us. Remember that people don’t always see things as you do and part of being a good educator is being able to understand the other person’s position and work with them at their levelnot your own.

6. Never label the person. Attaching a negative label on the person being criticized is an inappropriate approach because it dehumanizes them, making it easier for you to be angry with them and it demoralizes them.

7. Focus on the future, not the past. Blaming someone for their past behavior does nothing but create conflict. The past is over with and your main concern is that it does not happen in the future. So instead of dwelling on past behavior, use it as a teaching tool so that they can improve in the future.

8. Use softening words to pad your criticism. Softening words are designed to “soften” harsh-sounding statements.. Softeners work because they leave a lot of room for interpretation of the statement that follows it. Some examples of softeners are, “I think,” “I suppose,” “it seems,” “I believe,” etc. So instead of making a harsh statement such as, “You’re report is terrible.” Replace it with a softened criticism such as, “It seems to me that this part of your report could use some revision.” The psychological effect of rewording a statement can lead to a greater amount of persuasion and conflict avoidance.

9. Give them an opportunity to correct their behavior. This is an important step for any criticism because it works at two different levels. On the first level, giving them the opportunity to correct their behavior or actions lets them take responsibility for their behavior and reinforces the point that they must be held accountable for their actions. On the second level, giving them the opportunity to correct their behavior will give them an opportunity to redeem themselves and save face with you, which will make it easier for them to put their past behavior behind them and move one.

10. Constructive criticism is a sign of compassion. Criticism is often associated as a negative thing because it is often abused as a transport device for personal attacks. However, constructive criticism is a positive gift because the core message behind that criticism is that you care about the person enough to want them to succeed in the future. Constructive criticism is one of the main tests that separate regular people from true caring friends. Caring people will be honest with you and even risk generating conflict if they believe that their constructive criticism will help improve your life. Make sure that the person knows that your constructive criticism is done because you care about them and that you value your relationship with them. They will respect you more for being honest with them.

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